The Planning of The Wedding *WWP*

From the moment of our engagement til the time we turned in for the night after the wedding, our lives were a crazy whirlwind of ideas, fights, and disagreements on how we should get married. Often through out the process I joked about writing a book about the ridiculous events that surrounded the wedding, but obviously, due to hurt feelings of ones I love, I would never do that (at least with my real name as my pen name!). I decided instead of spilling my guts and emotions about the disastrous year that lead up to the wedding, I would make a 'DO' and 'DON'T list for families (yes, not just the bride and groom) when planning a wedding.

DO:

• Support the Bride and Groom in the decisions that they make.
• Offer to help the Bride and Groom to make things less stressful.
• Make a registry at more then one store, and make sure you do everything you need, want, and wish for.
• Get your dress early, and the reception hall first... it is true that once you have those two everything will fall into place.
• Consider everyone's feelings before naming the bridal party. Perhaps even wait a few months after the engagement before you name such important persons.
• If money is a worry, make your own favors and stuff your own invitations. (It was actually a fun bonding moment for Matthew and I to make each favor)
• Include both sets of parents (if possible) for the food tasting. You want to make sure your family is going to enjoy the food as well as you and your spouse.
  
• Plan your honeymoon as soon as you know your wedding date. We met many couples that couldn't stay a full week, or had a not very 'honeymoonish' room because they booked late at the resort.
• Make sure you pre-pay or know what your limo/transportation wants at the time of pick up. We were told they'd bill us later and then asked me for a credit card when they picked me and the girls up. Thank goodness for dad.... :)
  
• Go with your gut on the wedding dress that you want... yes other opinions are important, but you want to look a certain way on your wedding day and that is something you alone can have a mental picture of.
• Call and talk to your caterer/coordinator as much as you want. Their job is to answer all of your questions, even if you have 100,000 of them!
  
• Listen to everyone's ideas, but most importantly, remember IT IS YOUR DAY, DO WHAT YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE WANT!!!!

DON'T:

• Use the power of guilt trips to make the bride and groom do what you want.
• Don't buy something on the registry if it is already bought just to buy something.
• Don't have two wedding showers when everyone lives an hour apart. The stress will tear the mothers, family members, and bride apart.
• Don't witness the kids open a gift, and take it to their apartment 3 states away and still give the same gift 2 months later because you felt 'you bought it first'. (Especially when you live 3 miles from the store you bought it at... seriously!)
• Tell the kids they are making wrong decisions when they are happy about it and it is something that will work. It is THEIR wedding after all...
• Live in the house with your future in-laws the time from engagement to wedding... even the best relationships can go sour with the planning of a wedding.
• Make the bride plan her husband's bachelor night.... it's just not right!
• Make a scene at the wedding, cry, and become belligerently drunk that the parent's have to call the cops. (This was one of the bridesmaids, not myself or Matt!)
• Try to play the bride and groom against each other so they argue about nothing.
• Be a mother-in-law and ask to wear a bridesmaid dress.
• Open the Bride and Groom's cards at the wedding, see it's a check, and crumple the card into a napkin. (We know who did it, and it almost cost us $1,000!)
• Let any of the professionals YOU HIRED boss you around on your wedding day, or try to make you do things you don't want too. (That would be why our photographer left early...)
  
• Last but not least, DON'T ruin the day of the kids wedding. Let them have their fun, plan their lives, and enjoy themselves through the process.
  

Planning a wedding is meant to be one of the most magical times of your life.... I hope you fall more within the Do's then the Don't when planning your wedding, or when you are a part of someone's wedding. There is no amount of money you could pay me to relive the planning of our wedding. As you can see, there was a lot of drama leading up to our day, and on our day. Sadly, I have probably forgotten half of it since I tend to not dwell on the negative feelings. I will always thank those few people who did nothing but support us in our decisions and ensure a very wonderful wedding day. For those that tried to ruin it, or upset the process, shame on you!

I can honestly say our wedding day was a wonderful day for Matthew and myself because we focused on the two of us, not the fighting family members, rude professionals, and possible things that could go wrong. For us, it was a day of love, romance, and passion, and will always for us be our wedding day. Our honeymoon in return, was the best 2 weeks we could ask for following the stressful year of planning. Make sure you choose somewhere that for at least part of the time you can relax and let go of all the loose ends. :)