The Planning of The Wedding *WWP*

From the moment of our engagement til the time we turned in for the night after the wedding, our lives were a crazy whirlwind of ideas, fights, and disagreements on how we should get married. Often through out the process I joked about writing a book about the ridiculous events that surrounded the wedding, but obviously, due to hurt feelings of ones I love, I would never do that (at least with my real name as my pen name!). I decided instead of spilling my guts and emotions about the disastrous year that lead up to the wedding, I would make a 'DO' and 'DON'T list for families (yes, not just the bride and groom) when planning a wedding.

DO:

• Support the Bride and Groom in the decisions that they make.
• Offer to help the Bride and Groom to make things less stressful.
• Make a registry at more then one store, and make sure you do everything you need, want, and wish for.
• Get your dress early, and the reception hall first... it is true that once you have those two everything will fall into place.
• Consider everyone's feelings before naming the bridal party. Perhaps even wait a few months after the engagement before you name such important persons.
• If money is a worry, make your own favors and stuff your own invitations. (It was actually a fun bonding moment for Matthew and I to make each favor)
• Include both sets of parents (if possible) for the food tasting. You want to make sure your family is going to enjoy the food as well as you and your spouse.
  
• Plan your honeymoon as soon as you know your wedding date. We met many couples that couldn't stay a full week, or had a not very 'honeymoonish' room because they booked late at the resort.
• Make sure you pre-pay or know what your limo/transportation wants at the time of pick up. We were told they'd bill us later and then asked me for a credit card when they picked me and the girls up. Thank goodness for dad.... :)
  
• Go with your gut on the wedding dress that you want... yes other opinions are important, but you want to look a certain way on your wedding day and that is something you alone can have a mental picture of.
• Call and talk to your caterer/coordinator as much as you want. Their job is to answer all of your questions, even if you have 100,000 of them!
  
• Listen to everyone's ideas, but most importantly, remember IT IS YOUR DAY, DO WHAT YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE WANT!!!!

DON'T:

• Use the power of guilt trips to make the bride and groom do what you want.
• Don't buy something on the registry if it is already bought just to buy something.
• Don't have two wedding showers when everyone lives an hour apart. The stress will tear the mothers, family members, and bride apart.
• Don't witness the kids open a gift, and take it to their apartment 3 states away and still give the same gift 2 months later because you felt 'you bought it first'. (Especially when you live 3 miles from the store you bought it at... seriously!)
• Tell the kids they are making wrong decisions when they are happy about it and it is something that will work. It is THEIR wedding after all...
• Live in the house with your future in-laws the time from engagement to wedding... even the best relationships can go sour with the planning of a wedding.
• Make the bride plan her husband's bachelor night.... it's just not right!
• Make a scene at the wedding, cry, and become belligerently drunk that the parent's have to call the cops. (This was one of the bridesmaids, not myself or Matt!)
• Try to play the bride and groom against each other so they argue about nothing.
• Be a mother-in-law and ask to wear a bridesmaid dress.
• Open the Bride and Groom's cards at the wedding, see it's a check, and crumple the card into a napkin. (We know who did it, and it almost cost us $1,000!)
• Let any of the professionals YOU HIRED boss you around on your wedding day, or try to make you do things you don't want too. (That would be why our photographer left early...)
  
• Last but not least, DON'T ruin the day of the kids wedding. Let them have their fun, plan their lives, and enjoy themselves through the process.
  

Planning a wedding is meant to be one of the most magical times of your life.... I hope you fall more within the Do's then the Don't when planning your wedding, or when you are a part of someone's wedding. There is no amount of money you could pay me to relive the planning of our wedding. As you can see, there was a lot of drama leading up to our day, and on our day. Sadly, I have probably forgotten half of it since I tend to not dwell on the negative feelings. I will always thank those few people who did nothing but support us in our decisions and ensure a very wonderful wedding day. For those that tried to ruin it, or upset the process, shame on you!

I can honestly say our wedding day was a wonderful day for Matthew and myself because we focused on the two of us, not the fighting family members, rude professionals, and possible things that could go wrong. For us, it was a day of love, romance, and passion, and will always for us be our wedding day. Our honeymoon in return, was the best 2 weeks we could ask for following the stressful year of planning. Make sure you choose somewhere that for at least part of the time you can relax and let go of all the loose ends. :)

Road Rage

I am normally not one to vent my frustration, but after last night's practice with the cross country team, I feel like I need to voice an inner frustration. Last night the team had 7 miles to do, and the kids decided to do a run that had a few loops and would end down at the river bank. We break up into our groups (boys and girls) and set out for our run. Now, I have worked with the kids on running 2 by 2 at the largest, and always 1 by 1 on a busy road, or when a car is coming. Being runners, we always run against traffic so we can always see what is coming. In Maine there is very little shoulder on the road, hence why I taught them to run in double or single file rather then a 'clump' that takes up half of the road. Not only is this a safe way to run, but it is respectful to those who live and drive on the roads.

Thus being said, I really would like to know why cars feel they need to go 50 mph on a 25 mile road, honk their horns, give obscene gestures, hang out the window yelling things, and worst of all, see us on the road and move CLOSER to the group! You may be asking yourself if this all really happened on a 7 mile run, and sadly the answer is yes. The awful truth is it happened in only 5 miles of the run since the last 2 were in the woods on trails! I have never seen such rude behavior in a community that supports runners, and has the bragging rights of state qualifier teams, and individual New England champions for the Track and Cross Country teams. Now, I grew up in a large town, and yes there was a lot of traffic, but never have I experienced in one run so many incidences that make me want to scream at drivers! I do not understand why drivers can not share the road. Considering the amount of time I spend week after week teaching the athletes how to be respectful and safe on the road, why can't those that are considered responsible enough to hold a driver's license, be responsible? And we wonder where the kids learn their rude/reckless behaviors.

I only wish those drivers that were on the road last night were able to see this blog so that they might think to themselves 'Hey, I was being unsafe and need to be more careful when I'm driving.' Unfortunately, I've learned that those individuals normally don't take the time to think of their actions. I sincerely hope that all of you that read this are considerate drivers that slow down when they see a group of runners, and even when possible, move to the other side of the road.

The Way It Happened

I thought a lot this week on Matthew and I's journey over the past year, and thought that I would start to reflect on our journey. Thus being said, this is how it all began nine years ago...


Matt and I met in 2000 while in Reno Nevada competing in the Junior Olympic Cross Country National Championships. I desperately wanted a milkshake from the McDonald's across the street from the hotel, but was unable to leave due to rules set by my chaperon. Matt along with one of his teammates braved the crime riddled streets of Reno to get me that milkshake. And thus the start of a beautiful friendship.

A year later, when trying to set Matt up with one of my friends, a romance blossomed, but not between whom it was intended too. Matt and I started dating and shared many laughs and fond memories together over the next few months. Unfortunately being young, we parted and went our separate ways when it came time for Matt to depart for college. We tried to stay in touch, but new relationships quickly got in the way.

Four years later luck would have it we some how got in touch with each other through internet communications. Matt and I started talking regularly again. Then Matt came out with some of my friends to Pennsylvania to surprise me for my 21st birthday. Knowing there was still a spark, I claimed to "leave a flash light on in the shed" and asked Matthew to come out and help me find it, and that is when we shared the kiss that rekindled our love (Matt did not actually realize there was no light in the shed until about 6 months later when we were reliving the happy memory of our "First" kiss). The next weekend I went to Connecticut for Matt's birthday where the relationship blossomed and not only did we became best friends, but fell in love.

After a magical year of rediscovering each other, with many happy memories, on June 1st, 2007, Matt and I were at Watch Hill in Rhode Island for a picnic on the beach. While watching the sunset, Matt told me to close my eyes because the sound of the waves is very soothing (as I had had a VERY stressful week at work). While my eyes were closed, Matt pulled the ring from his pocket, and whispered in my ear, "Will you marry me." I opened my eyes to see the beautiful ring and the rest is history.

Not Just Any Other Movie Night

Excited. Elated. Enchanted.

These are just a few words to describe the feelings I had while watching the midnight premier of ‘Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince’ on Tuesday night. The tickets were bought days before hand, and I was accompanied by my Aunt and Uncle. Pulling into the parking lot you could see hundreds of people dressed up in Hogwarts and wizard gear, myself wearing my sweater and neck tie, ready for the excitement.

The line inside the doors was long, however with tickets pre-purchased, we were whisked away by the usher to theater 4. After much looking, we found our perfect seats, and settled in for the performance I have waited so patiently for since its push back from November 2008. It feels surreal that I am minutes away from the 6th movie of a series I love and will always recommend, as it is a book that bridges all generations.

The lights dim and the screen flashes eight previews before the 2 hour and 33 minute film that captures my undivided attention enchants me. When the final credits roll, with tears in my eyes, I realize that the wait was worth it, although there are a few criticisms I have for the writers of the script. Never completely satisfied in movies done from books, I have to conclude for the non-reader, the film was well done compared to the past few that had such holes in the story line that you were often confused if you had not pre-read the story line.

Obsessed, perhaps. Dedicated, most defiantly. Elated, there is no better word to describe. I recommend the movie to any fan, and someone that is looking for a movie that reminds everyone what it is like to be a teenager again, what it is like to be brave, and most importantly, that even if it is a fantasy world, there are dangers in the world that instill a bit of fear in us all.

Now only if there weren’t another year between the next film…

Driving to New Jersey

Driving to New Jersey,
in a car all alone,
nothing on the radio
I'm like a dog without a bone.

After a month full of rain,
today the sun is out and hot,
and here I am stuck in the car
enjoying the nice weather I am not.

I am following the Garmin,
at 2:26 I am expected to arrive,
until I call my mother,
and she changes the way I am to drive.

The traffic starts to pile up,
and the minutes tick away,
the arrival time is now 3:09,
listening to my mother was not a good choice today.

I finally pull up to the house,
tired, hungry, and with full bladder,
and my cousins come running with hugs,
and suddenly the long drive does not matter.

Tomorrow we leave for the beach,
a group of 30 under one roof,
many adventures await us,
I promise to report back the truth.

Family

The word Family can be defined in many different ways. For example, Google the word 'family definition' on Google, and you will get the following definitions:

1. any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins

2. parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not

3. a group of people who are generally not blood relations but who share common attitudes, interests, or goals and, frequently, live together

4. a group of related things or people

However, in my life I have defined family as many different groups of people that have helped me through some of the happiest, toughest, and emotional times of my life. Below, let me introduce my families to you, and let you see who I really am.



This is me (the one not taught to smile by my parents apparently!) with my brother Jonathan and my sister Jackie. I am the youngest of the three, and love my siblings very much. Growing up we were the only children in our family, and we were each other's best friends. We spent our carefree summers building tree forts, swimming in the pool, playing hide and seek in the cow fields, and making kick the can ice cream. With me in Maine, my sister in Boston, and my brother in our home town in CT, we aren't all together except at holidays, with one-on-one trips in between. Forever they are my family.



This group of girls was my High School cross country team, where 'team' was not the proper word, because we were a big family. Many days we called our coach 'dad' and we loved each other and the days spent training exploring our lives of love, school, excitement, and sorrow. Together we ran, and to this day, we all meet up every fall to cheer on the younger NMHS XC team at the state meet. These girls were a HUGE part of my high school experience, introducing me to running, and always pushing me to be the best I could in every aspect and taught me to never settle for less then the best.


This is my College XC team, my senior year. This day was the NCAA Division II Championship and my last race ever as a Mountie. Injured, and forced to run barefoot, my team helped carry me through the race rather then me carrying them. This team had so many ups and downs, but together we did everything from training, traveling across the country in a bus, studied to all hours of the night to get matching 4.0 semesters, celebrate engagements and marriages, comfort each other through break ups, and carry each other through premature death of friends. This network of people were my family for the best four years of my life.


This talented group of people is only a fraction of the phenomenal staff at Green Mountain Running Camp in VT. I have gone to this camp as a camper, counselor, and now coach for 10 years, and I can not express how these people have influenced and inspired me to be who I am today. Some of them former and current Olympians, other's college athletes, and coaches that when together, are the largest family of them all. Sprinkled across the country, we unite each summer for three weeks and run our hearts out and reconnect for a friendship that lasts through out the rest of the year through emails, im's, and facebook messages.


This large group is my host family from Australia. These remarkable people took me in never meeting me, or knowing anything about me, and treated me instantly as a member of their family. This picture shows our unification in waking up at 4 am on Anzac day and going to the Great-grandfathers graves that fought in the war. I traveled through out Australia with this family, camped under the stars, and participated in a traditional ball while I was there. These incredible people will always be my family, even if they are 12,000 miles away!


Finally after 15 years of being the only grandchildren, my mom's younger sisters finally got busy!!! This picture is down at our family the NJ shore for our summer reunion, which is always a blast! The kids range in ages of 4-9, and they are little balls of energies! My sister and brother love them to bits, and are making sure they are taught all of the tricks, including wet willies. It is quite humorous to see them go up to their parents sleeping in their beach chairs and give it a whirl. My aunts and uncles love us to pieces for teaching them such street worthy skills :) Now do I dare to say it is up to my siblings and I to bring in the new batch....



One of the most important events in all families- a wedding. This is me last summer with my mom and my dad walking down the aisle. This even joined together members from all of my families mentioned above, and also all of those in Matthew's, which are now new additions to my family. June 21st, 2008 was a day of celebration with all of my different families, and one of the happiest days of my life.




This is my WONDERFUL husband and I on our honeymoon at Sandals Montego Bay in Jamaica. Matt and I have a long history, meeting at a national XC meet out in Reno, NV in high school, dating, then breaking up, and reuniting my Junior year of college. Together we have weathered long distance, moving states, re-establishing our lives, getting into graduate and doctorate schools, and most recently, cancer. He is my best friend and I can not picture myself with anyone else but him. We enjoy hiking, kayaking, running, listening to music, dancing while doing the dishes, and playing with adorable puppy, Holly Marie.
We are waiting a few years to go the children route, and are currently tending to the house we bought this January.




The latest member of the family, but certainly not the last is Matthew and my dog, Holly Marie. We rescued Holly from Arkansas, where she and her brothers and sisters were left on the side of the highway in a box. Although she is capable of quite mischief, she is the love of our lives, and just recently celebrated her 1st birthday. She is a black Lab/mix, and we are predicting beagle since she topped out at 40 lbs, and loves to whine. She enjoys walks, fetching sticks, and sleeping in our bed at night.




This journey is not over, just done for the time being. My family comes from all different bloodlines, all different shapes, and in some cases, has four legs! My family is the most important part of my life, and without them, I doubt I would be here typing this blog note to all of you. I hope all of you are blessed with a family, no matter what it looks like. So to reflect on the definitions I started with, I think I need an option 5 that reads 'all of the above'.

Beginning Blogger

This is my first official blog, created for one of my graduate school courses for the University of New England. Over the next few weeks I plan to utilize this blog to connect with my classmates, and hopefully gain comfort with 'blogging' and continue to use this tool to communicate with my parents and teaching community.